Recovery to Mormonism

I might have to change my lifestyle?

Recovery to Mormonism sites sometimes like to bring up something which is, perhaps, truly terrifying.  Indeed, Mormonism asks you to change your lifestyle.

If you wish to convert to Mormonism and you smoke, you will need to stop smoking.  You may not drink alcohol or coffee, or use illicit drugs.  Is this difficult?  Of course!  You also won’t be able to have sex outside marriage, have homosexual relationships, or view pornography.  If you’re already involved in these things, is it hard to stop?  Yes, it is. 

So why does the Mormon Church require members not to engage in any of these things?  It’s not because they want to keep people out.

Many people do prefer religions that don’t require anything of them.  I believe in Christ—however, I think it’s perfectly fine to do this, this, and this.  Some may well find Mormon codes of conduct oppressive or simply too much work.  Why don’t Mormons say, well, whatever, and allow absolutely everything?  (Or, at least, accept whatever most Americans/Canadians/Brazilians/the world would be most comfortable with them accepting.)

First, Mormons believe that the requirements that they have for membership are given of God.  Indeed, a number of the parts of a Mormon’s “code of conduct” are supported by something so basic as the Ten Commandments—for example, thou shalt not commit adultery.  They believe that they live in the way that God would have them live.  While those outside Mormonism might not believe this way is the Lord’s way, they can rest assured that Mormons don’t believe what they do to inconvenience others, or to make others uncomfortable.  They act on what they believe to be the revealed truth.

Therefore, they don’t change the precepts they live by because some people might feel uncomfortable with them, or because society entire doesn’t them relevant any more.  Mormons are often admired for their integrity.  Holding to their beliefs, even when acting on them is difficult, is part of this.

If Mormons were to bend and decide that, no matter what they believe the Lord has said, everyone can act how they like, they would have little relevance as a belief system.  Which leads us to . . .

Second, the idea of a religion requiring change from its members is not a strange one to Christianity.  In today’s society, the very idea can get people muttering about cults, but original Christianity, as Christ set it up, very definitely required change.  What is the purpose of talking about a “change of heart” or “turning toward Christ” if you act exactly the same way as before?  We are supposed to change who we are, eventually, through repentance and striving to act better, kinder, with more love and service.  We can be forgiven of our sins, but we must “go our way and sin no more.” 

A church that only lightly recognizes the concept of sin is perhaps not grasping the whole of Christ’s message.  This doesn’t mean that Mormons are interested in judging others.  Nor does it mean that Mormons believe they can save themselves.  But they do live the best they can according to their beliefs and those who wish to become Mormon are expected to live by these standards.  If this is cultish, then so was Jesus, when He asked His followers to leave their current lives and follow Him.  To be Christian is to change and to sacrifice. 

In fact, a comfortable Christian, content and complacent in his or her own spirituality, may not be trying hard enough.

Which leads us into the third point.

While the world is very much about pleasing yourself, Christianity and, therefore, Mormonism, does not put the wants of the individual over their principles.  Some people find the idea of “never having sex” a profoundly repressive and oppressive one, because it denies someone that particular pleasure.  Sure, marriage is important, but suppose it never happens?  Suppose you’re a virgin for life?  (Hey, I’m well on my way.)  Suppose you’re homosexual and, since the Church won’t allow you to act on it, struggle with unexpressed feelings all your life?

Suppose you struggle with anything all your life?  Isn’t that unfair?

Paul speaks of having a “thorn in his flesh.”  We all have things that we can’t have.  Perhaps some of these, even the world would consider illegal.  Others, not at all.  We struggle.  We want.  It might be a simple matter to sate our “forbidden desires” even.  The world would tell us that our responsibility is to sate them, then—but this isn’t happiness in the long term.  “Do whatever you want” is a lifestyle without responsibilities, anchor, or direction.  Even the world recognizes that we have to bridle our wants if we want to get anything done (why, many would rather play than work) and Mormons are looking at longer goals than the next deadline. 

To have something denied you, by your own choice (because the Church won’t force you to do or not do something and you can always leave if you find it too oppressive) is not having your rights stripped.  Struggle is not punishment—we all have it.  To struggle rather than to give in to sin is part of being Christian.  If your definitions of sin may be different, it seems unfair to decide the Mormon religion is evilly rigid because it requires self-control.